Day 220: Name Them One By One

Aha:
Here is a small, but sincere list of blessings from today--
  1.  I woke up right before my alarm went off and was wide awake for my first day back to work after a great vacation.
  2.  I made it through my first day back to work after a great vacation!  (So hard to go back to work!)
  3.  I was asked to make a change to the calendar by The Intimidator and right after was pulled away from my desk before I could make the change.  I totally forgot about it until a few minutes later when I had a little prompting reminding me to make the change.  Phew!
  4.  I walked home from work in 52 degree weather and saw that most of the snow has melted!!!
  5.  One of my students didn't show up for her lesson, so I had a nice little unexpected break between dinner and my next student.
  6.  I had a little extra time this evening to snuggle with Clinton and Petey!  So nice!

Ha ha:
My coworker just told me that while I was away from my desk a couple weeks ago Dr. Ditty came by and asked if her to "give Denise (aka, me) this paperwork" he had.  He had no idea what my name was!  Denise-Danielle--whatever they both start with "D"!
This reminded me of the time that he came up to me and said, "Hey..." (long pause while he looked at my name badge)..."uh...(another stare)...can you take care of this for me?"  Ha ha!  Even looking at my badge he didn't know my name and I've worked there for 2 years!  Ha!

Day 219: Hairy Situations

Aha:
Last night I took some cold medicine around 10pm and was asleep within 30 minutes.  I woke up this morning at 8:30am.  Not sure, but I think my body really needed some rest! :)  I think the best part of all this though was waking up to Peter spooning me.  That little boy was by my head all night long.  I asked Clinton if he had pulled him up during the night and he said that he had come up on his own. (Awwww!)  I felt so loved!!  I laid in bed for another half hour and snuggled my pup.  It was fantastic!
Just like yesterday, Peter has been on our laps anytime we sit down.  Even as I sit here typing he is sprawled across my lap with his chin on my arm.  I doubt it's comfortable for him, and I know it isn't for me but neither of us is complaining. :)

Ha ha:
Ladies--remember those days in high school when you were so bored with whatever the teacher was saying that you'd pull out a pair of scissors and cut away your split ends?  (Please don't tell me I'm the only one who did that.)  Well, today while I was waiting for Clinton in the car I happened to glance down and see a split end.  In a desperate attempt to get rid of it without ripping it from my scalp, I reached into the arm rest and pulled out a pair of nail clippers and hacked off the end.  Feeling totally satisfied I continued this process until Clinton came back and asked, "What are you doing?"  I told him I was trimming my ends and he just shook his head side-to-side and said, "Girls."
Oh, the things we do for beauty!  Ha!

Day 218: Happy to See Us

Aha:
Coming home after a great trip is always a little sad, but coming home to a pup that is as excited to see you are you are to see him is always great!  When we walked through the door Peter went crazy.  He jumped into my arms and gave me tons of kisses.  Then he ran out into the living room and jumped up on Clinton's lap.  He was a ball of excited energy and he brought us all of his toys to play with until he got so tired he passed out on our laps.
Anytime one of us sits down Peter is right up on our laps.  He is so happy to have us back and we're happy to be back too.

Ha ha:
During my Skype session with my sister and her kids last night, Clinton joined in so the kids could visit with him too.  I asked my niece to share some jokes with Clinton.  All of her jokes were essentially the same thing, but one in particular really had us laughing.
They went a little something like this:
Niece:  Knock, knock.
Us:  Who's there?
Niece:  __________(fill in with any object)
Us:  ________ who?
Niece:  (holding up a drawing of the object coming out of a pair of pants and a speech bubble that said, "Hello, my name is _____ pants!")
She'd start laughing and would get up again and again to recreate her joke with some new object.  The one that really had us in stitches/really concerned was "Banana Pants".  Let's just say we were all glad there was a speech bubble on that one!

Day 217: Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures

Aha:
This should come as no surprise, but I SOMEHOW contracted a cold during our trip.  Fortunately for me, we were able to buy some cold meds and I felt almost as good as new and was able to enjoy our last day and a wonderful afternoon at the Clear Water Beach.  Here is a little list of the blessings I/we experienced on Saturday.

• Cold meds
• A WARM day at the beach (coming from the Pacific NW, this is basically unheard of)
• I was craving some beef jerky and happened across a little store that had some for super cheap! (not a common occurrence in a touristy area)
• Got to sit in the sun and feel oh-so-toasty warm while munching on my beef jerky
• Got to walk hand-in-hand with my HB for a few hours while we soaked up some sun

Ha!  It was a little windy, as evidenced by Clinton's hair.

Ha ha:
On our way out of town we saw this car repair shop and promptly began laughing.

"Waxin' Willys"

As many of you may guess, our minds went straight to something much less manly and much more...metrosexual.  I think Willy should have thought this through a bit more.

Day 216: Some Fresh Oranges and a Couple of Old Prunes

Aha:
I told Clinton before we left Wisconsin that while we were in Florida I wanted to pick real Florida oranges.  So, we hopped in the car and drove up the road a ways to a U-Pick farm.  We had a blast picking oranges together and it was so nice to have some down time during our trip too.

 I think this is what you call "double picking".

Ha ha:

We went to the grocery store to see if they had some fresh Florida oranges...ya know, in Florida, and found these instead.

After dinner we came back out to our car to find this.  We're pretty sure these were from the elderly couple having dinner across the way from us.  I thought this was too funny not to share.

Day 215: Aren't You Only Supposed to Get Wet on the Rides??

On the ferry boat on our way to the Magic Kingdom

Aha:
While Clinton was in line to watch the Country Bear Jamboree, I took a trip to the loo.  There were seagulls flying everywhere in the hopes of getting some spare food and I was nervous they were going to poop on me so I walked looking up instead of down.  And it's a good thing too!  Right as I was about to walk to my right I noticed a seagull above me starting to poo, I quickly jumped to my left.  As I jumped, a man walking in my direction saw me leap and did the same thing.  In the exact spot where we both would have been landed a giant splat of seagull poo.  I looked at the man, he looked back at me and at the same time we both said, "Phew.  The was really close!"

 Here I am trying to get a shot of us on the teacups...oh, and I'm also trying not to puke. :)

Ha ha:

Clinton and I were standing in line to go to the Monsters Inc Laugh Floor (this was my favourite part of the Magic Kingdom--hilarious!!) and the room was super crowded with other people waiting to go in.  We were sardined in next to this other couple and all was good until I heard the man beside me sneeze and say, "Uh...uh...uh...".  I turned in time to see a three inch snot string hanging from his nose and connecting with his right hand.  I turned back to Clinton and said, "Oh, my gosh!  Oh, my gosh!  That guy's got a giant snot string hanging from his nose (gag, gag)!"  One wouldn't know it was possible but I managed to squeeze in even closer to Clinton. (shudder) 

A few hours later we were sitting on the ground in front of the castle waiting to watch a musical production with Mickey and the gang.  I was talking with Clinton when all of a sudden the man standing up next to me turned my way and sneezed. right. on. me.  To add insult to injury, he did it again, only this time I felt it too.  That's right.  I was totally sneezed on by a stranger and had physical evidence in the form of spray on my face.  I turned to Clinton in pure disgust and he just started laughing.  Really?  (Shuh-der!!)

Day 214: Paying...A Compliment

Aha:

EPCOT!  We had an AMAZING time walking around the park today.  The weather was unbelievable and seeing all of the cool exhibits for all of the different countries was a blast.  We finished the day off with fireworks and a light display.  FANTASTIC!

When we walked up to purchase our tickets the lady behind the counter asked if we'd ever been here before.  We told her this was our first visit...about 20 minutes later we'd heard about her grandchildren, her health (dental and physical), her family, the Make-A-Wish Foundation and how they work with patients/families at Disney World and just how wonderful the parks at Disney are--I'm thinking, how's about you give us a chance to get inside those pearly gates to see for ourselves??--and then her eyes welled up and she talked about how she hoped that we too could experience our own "Happily Ever After" moment.

Suddenly my heart changed a little bit and I truly began to feel the Disney spirit.  This lady, who was a complete and total stranger 20 minutes ago, had opened her heart to us and I knew her wish for us to find happiness extended beyond the attractions and festivities of Disney.  What a sweet lady and what a wonderful way to start our adventure!

 Here we are in EPCOT's Mexico with our favorite, Donald Duck.

 In Morocco, we went to a delicious restaurant.  The atmosphere was so cool and the food was great!

 The grounds were absolutely beautiful as the sun was setting

 I think this next pic was during/after the fireworks.  So much fun!!

Ha ha:
I got a picture with my favourite Disney princess, Aurora (Sleeping Beauty)!  Yes, I think I was the only adult in line, but who cares, right?  Anyway, as I approached her, she turned to me, took a graceful bow and said (in her princess voice), "Oh my!  Aren't you a beautiful princess?  And what a lovely...(stroking my shirt)...outfit you're wearing."  Ha!

Day 213: Flori-DUH

Aha:

Clinton and I hopped onto a plane bright and early (or shall I say, dark and way too early??) and headed to sunny and WARM Florida!!

It has been quite a while since we've taken a vacation and to be honest, I keep feeling like we're on our honeymoon! :)  It feels fantastic to be with my honey and I'm LOVING every second of it!

View from the plane of the sun rising

 Here we are...for some reason Clinton thought he should hold up his bag of pretzels.

 View of the Gulf

 Here's our awesome condo (2600 sq.ft., 2 full baths, 3 bedrooms, fully equipped kitchen...for $65/night!)

 My dad grew up in Florida and his favorite dessert is Key Lime Pie, so we found a great restaurant, called Bahama Breeze, and they had the best Key Lime Pie we've ever tasted!  Also, they had an amazing cuban sandwich that I've now decided is my favorite!

 It took us about 4 minutes to finish off this little beauty.

Ha ha:
While Clinton and I were sitting in the Ft. Lauderdale Airport we had about 3 hours to people watch and here's what we saw...

1. An older man that was dressed like a woman (heels, tank-top dress, make-up and all).
2. A BUNCH of old people, obviously a bunch of snowbirds. :)
3. A mother yelling at her child, "NO!  You can't have a donut and if you ask again you're not going to get dinner either!"
4. Two different men that looked like crazy people while talking on their phones because they refused to hold their phones with their hand and used their almost-invisible bluetooth instead.  Why??
5. A bird scavenging for scraps and then crapping on the floor (yes, we are still inside for this).

All in all this was rather entertaining, but we were so glad to finally make it to our AMAZING villa and I'll post more soon!

Day 212: Is This A Test?

Aha:
Seeing the smile on my husband's face as he walked out from his boards exam was THE BEST part of my day!  What a huge relief that he's done (this exam was seven months in the making) and even better, that he feels good about it!  Oh, what a wonderful blessing!!!  Congratulations, H.B.!!!  I am so proud of you!  LOVE YOU!

Ha ha:
Today at work, Dr. Simpatico came up to me and asked if I could help him with something.  He pointed to a box I had on my desk that had an image of three arrows in a circle, like the Recycle symbol, and while running his finger over the circular shape asked, "If I wanted to do something like this (circle, circle)...?"
"Recycle?", I asked.
He started laughing, "No.  Make this symbol on the computer, could you help me with that?"
Me:  (laughing), "Oh, of course!"
He:  (laughing), "Recycle.  You are very funny!"
He passed by my desk a couple minutes later, shook his head side-to-side and started laughing again.  Then he saw my supervisor, pointed to me and told her I was "the funny lady".
I totally thought he wanted to recycle.  Ha ha!

Day 211: I've Still Got IT

Aha:
I have been singing for how many years now? and I still deal with nerves!  It probably would have helped if I had actually practiced my song before this morning :/, but as I started to sing this morning in church I simply couldn't catch my breath.  I quickly said a little prayer that my nerves would calm down and sure enough after a few stumbly phrases my nerves relaxed and I was able to get the words and notes out without much interference.
I'm thankful that the Lord heard my urgent plea for help and sent peace and comfort to my panicked soul!

Ha ha:
1.  I visited with a woman after church ended who was visiting our ward from the stake.  She kindly complimented me on my song and said that while I was singing she and her friend were having a debate about how old I was.
What is she, a laurel? (young women ages 16-18)
No, she's gotta be a miamaid. (young women ages 14-15)
No, she looks too poised to be a young woman, I think she's an adult.  Could be married.
No, I say she's a teenager.
Apparently this conversation went back and forth, unnoticed by me, for the duration of my song.  She said that it wasn't until Sunday School when she saw a ring on my finger that she turned to her friend and said, "Ha!  I was right.  She is an adult, and married too!"
That's the third time this week that someone thought I was under the age of 18!  I guess that's a good thing?

2.  During church I found myself having some tender feelings for my poor studying husband back home and thought it would be nice to send him a quick little text to let him know I was thinking about him...
Me:  I sure love you HB!  I'm very proud of you!  You are amazing!
He:  Are you drunk?
Hmm, that didn't go over quite like I was thinking it would...

Day 210: I Just Called to Say, "I'm REALLY Stressed!!!"

Aha:
My sister made a New Year's resolution to keep in better touch with her family that live out of state and we now Skype every Sunday evening.  I look forward to it every week!  Anyway, this got me thinking about the other members of my family that live far away (every one) and especially Clinton's family who I'm lucky if I get to see them once a year!  I decided that I'm going to use my sister's idea and contact them on a much more regular basis.
I called my mother-in-law and we visited for about 2 hours before my father-in-law came on the line and we visited for a while too!  It was wonderful and I felt so much more connected with them.  I felt like I wasn't a bad daughter-in-law anymore cause I was able to take some initiative and visit with two people who mean so much to me and who have given me one of their best gifts--Clinton.  I went to bed with a big smile on my face and am really looking forward to next week's visit!!

Ha ha:
Clinton takes his boards tomorrow.  He's been stressed and I've been stressed enough for the both of us!  I didn't quite realize how stressed I was until yesterday morning when our neighbors started their 4th at-least-an-hour-but-usually-much-longer band practice this week.  Don't get me wrong, they are actually quite good, but when your walls start shaking and you can't have a moment of quiet in your own home--it can really grate on a person.  Well, anyway I was upstairs talking with Clinton about maybe creating a practice schedule with our neighbors so we could have some more quiet.  I could feel a wave of emotion building up and the next thing I knew I was crying.  I finished with a weak, "I just...(sob)...want...(sob)...them to...shut up" before leaving the room embarrassed and going into the bathroom to cry it out for another 10 minutes.
Yikes, I can't wait till his boards are OVER!!!

Day 209: My Snap Was All Over The Place

Aha:
As I was getting ready to get into the car and drive to work (yes, I realize I only live 3 blocks from work, but when it's 30 degrees below freezing those 3 blocks feel like 3000!), I thought I should just walk.  Already running a little late, I changed back into my boots and headed out the door.  It wasn't until it was time to leave work that I realized just how glad I was that I actually had walked.  We received about 3 inches of snow during the work day, the parking lot was totally backed up and the roads were super slippery.  Sure, my walk home was a little chilly, but I made it home in one piece (and I didn't have to scrape ice off my windshields either)!!

Ha ha:
My coworker and I were talking about how the crotch of certain pairs of pants make a snapping sound when we walk (After receiving many questioning looks from friends and family when I originally expressed concern/frustration to them that my pants made a snapping sound when I walked, I looked it up online to prove it was a real thing and found that urbandictionary.com calls it "cracklin' crotch"--LOL).  I got up to show her that the pair I wore today did said snapping.  As I sat back down she said, "I like those pants on you.  I think they're cute." 
My other coworker thought she'd be funny and said, "Well, I don't.  I think they're ugly." 
So I jokingly replied, "Oh, yeah?  Well, I think YOU'RE ugly!" 
We all started laughing.
We sounded like a bunch of five-year-olds!

Day 208: Couldn't Sleep But I Can ALWAYS Eat

Aha:
I slept for a total of about 2 hours last night (after I finally took a sleeping pill around 3am) and still managed to get out of bed by 645 this morning AND I made it through an entire workday to boot!  But now I'm beat.

Ha ha:
Part of the reason I couldn't sleep last night was because I had this crazy intense hunger (must be from all of the diarrhea--oh my I don't know when to stop, but neither do my bowels, ba-dun-chh!).  Anyway, I couldn't take it anymore so at 2am I got out of bed and had a piece of bread, sliced up an apple cause I didn't have the energy to repeatedly bite into it and visited with Clinton who was still up studying while I ate my apple.
Overall, I felt like my restless night went rather well, but I don't hope for another one any time soon.
***
I asked Clinton if my post was any good or if I should just wait till tomorrow when I was thinking a little more clearly.
He:  Uh, just wait till tomorrow.
Me:  Really?  Not even my diarrhea joke?
He:  (shaking his head side-to-side)  Unh-uh.  It's crap.
Ha!  Get it?

Day 207: We Were Both Looking for Boxes This Morning, but for Two VERY Different Reasons

Aha:
Some might wonder why I'm posting--my period started today!--as a blessing (or why I'd even post something so personal in the first place-ha!).  The reason it's a blessing is because I was due to start next Tuesday and that's the day that Clinton and I take our fun-filled, long over due trip to Florida and now I won't be bloated or have diarrhea and terrible cramps during my vacation!  I'll get it all over with beforehand.  Yay!

Ha ha:
I had the pleasure of participating in another one of Clinton's sleep conversing this morning while I was getting ready for work:
He:  (sits up, checks his phone for the time and then looks at me with sleepy eyes)  Where did you put that box?
Me:  What box?
He:  (pointing at the floor with a rather floppy wrist)  You know.
Me:  No, I don't know.
He:  (still confused)  The box.
Me:  What box?
He:  (again, with the floppy-writsted pointing at the floor)  The box for the program.
Me:  I don't know what you're talking about.  I think you're still asleep, Honey.
He:  (falling back onto his pillow and closing his eyes)  No.  I need to just gather my thoughts.  (he was out again in seconds)
Ha!

Day 206: Special Thanks

Aha:

I received a very special gift in the mail this afternoon from a blogging buddy of mine in sunny Florida.

It made me feel very special and warm!  Thanks Sara, it's absolutely adorable!!  Would it be too much trouble to ask that you also send some sunshine and about 50 extra degrees?

Ha ha:
I sent an email to someone at another institution regarding a conference call with one of our docs (who happens to have an unusual last name that is hard to say and spell, so I included an extra helpful blurb about how to say his name phonetically) and closed with my name at the bottom.  I got a reply to my email that went a little something like this:
"Thanks Daniele, the pronunciation of his name was most helpful!"
Don't get why it's funny?  She spelled my name wrong while thanking me for helping her with someone else's.  Ha!  (Alright, maybe it's not that funny, but it's my blog, so deal with it!)

Day 205: I Upped My Level, Up Yours!

Aha:
Nothing really significant really sticks out, other than I didn't die today.  I guess that's a good blessing.  What, did you get in an accident or something?  You might wonder.  Or, did you choke on a carrot and have to have the Heimlich maneuver?  Although I've had to have it a couple times before after norking a carrot, no, I didn't choke.  The answer is I exercised.  (see below)

Ha ha:
I upgraded to level 2 of the 30-Day Shred, 'nough said, right?  Here're a few things I said while working out...
Oh, man, I HATE this one.
Seriously?
What are you laughing at Jillian?
I want to die.
Shut-up!
You've got to be kidding me!
How much longer is this?
I'm so weak!
Encourage me Clinton!
Owie.
You can do it, Dani.
Maybe not.
(grunt, grunt, grunt)
I am so outta shape.
This isn't natural.
Who thinks up this stuff?
(gasp, gasp, gasp for air)
How many more reps?
(loud grunt)
Oh, thank HEAVENS it's over!

But over all I think it went rather well!

Day 204: This Got My Attention

Aha:
The lesson in Relief Society today was from "Teachings of Presidents of the Church: George Albert Smith".  There is a quote from it that I'd like to share as one of my new favorites:

I want to say that at this particular period of our lives we need to exercise charity, not only in imparting of our substance to those who are in need, but we need to have charity for the weaknesses and failures and mistakes of our Father’s children.


This quote is part of a speech shared with the saints during the years of the Great Depression.
I don't really know that there's much else I need to say about this quote other than I think being charitable with the weaknesses, failures and mistakes of ALL of God's children (that includes you and me) is probably the best, most poignant piece of advice I can think of.  I think if we all spent a little bit more time being kind, forgiving and understanding/tolerant of others and ourselves, that there could be a whole lot more unity and love in this world.

Ha ha:
I was Skype-ing with my sister's kids and towards the end of our conversation (right at their bedtime) they started to get rather silly.  Here's how the last part of our conversation went:
Niece:  Aunt Dani, how do you get a boy's attention?
Me:  I dunno.  Is this a joke?
Niece:  You whack him with a stick! (laughter)
Me:  (laughter)
My nephew wanted to get in on the laughs so he quickly asked:
Nephew:  Aunt Dani, how do you get Uncle Clinton's attention?
Me:  (laughing)  I'll tell you when you're older. :)

Day 203: Push and Pull

Aha:
I've been trying to get back into exercising since it had been about 8 months since my last work out.  I've been doing Jillian Michaels' 30-Day Shred (also available at Target or Walmart for about $10) followed by Rodney Yee's Ultimate Power Yoga (also available at Target or Walmart for about $14); total work out time is about 45 minutes.  Today, the thought of exercise made me want to fall over dead.  Is that not the saddest thing you've ever heard?  I'd rather die than exercise?  What is wrong with me?
Anyway, I put on my exercise clothes and headed downstairs to begrudgingly start.  I turned to Clinton and said, "Don't let me back out.  I need to do this but really don't want to."  I paused for a moment and then said, "I don't think I'm going to...", in the middle of my defeated phrase I looked up and saw that he'd already turned on the TV and selected my exercise for me.  I had to do it now.
Most wives might take offense when their husband turns on an exercise video for them and tells them they have to do it (and I would be if I hadn't asked him to), but I was so thankful!  I took away his "Fart in a Can" and completed both of my videos!!  I feel good knowing they're done and I'm thankful for my husband who pushed me to complete a goal and wouldn't let me give up!

Ha ha:
After I finished my workout I ran upstairs to show Clinton something I was never able to do, even as a more-flexible kid--from a standing position, bend over and put my palms flat on the floor while keeping my legs straight--a full forward bend!
He asked, "Oh, is that it?"
"Yes!", I replied.
"Good job," he said, "but can you put your leg behind your head?"
I tried but was not quite flexible enough yet.
"Let me try." he said.  And as he spoke he pulled his left leg and put it behind his head.  What the?!
I challenged him to try his right leg and up it went too!  I don't know if I should be offended, impressed or in stitches.  It probably was one of the funniest looking things I've seen in a while. :)

Day 202: What If I Were You and You Were Me?

Aha:
Having a rather intense hankering for some soda I made a quick trip down to the hospital cafeteria (prices are still expensive, but at least I'm paying for more than just a sip of soda!).  Anyway, after I'd paid what I worked 10 minutes to afford, I made my way back to my office.
As I was leaving the dining room I saw a really cute black woman, sitting by herself and preparing her meal.  She glanced up at me and flashed a really beautiful smile.  I smiled back.  I continued past her but stopped and said, "You're hair is adorable!"  It took her a second to realize I'd paid her a compliment.
She turned back to me, smiled again and said, "Thank you!"  After another quick pause, she repeated, "Thank you."
I have no idea what her circumstance is but being a family member at a children's hospital is almost never a cause for celebration.  I felt like I really made her day by complimenting her--and that feeling made my day!
While I made my reflective trip back to the office, I couldn't help but think of this quote:

Ha ha:
I ran upstairs to kiss Clinton goodbye and to have prayer before I left for work.  He's been going to bed REALLY late so by the time I come in to say "I'm leaving" he's still in really deep sleep.  Makes for some rather funny interactions.  Like this one from today:
Me:  'K, bye Honey, I gotta go.
He:  (Opens his eyes really big, with a completely confused look on his face) What?!
Me:  I have to go.
He:  (Sounding like I'm telling him I'm leaving him...for good)  What?  Why?!
Me:  I have to go to work.  Love ya.
He:  (Scrunching his eyebrows)  I'm you and you're me?
Me:  (Laughing)  I think you're still asleep.  Love you!
I told him about this when I got home from work and he started laughing and then said, "Boy, I really am funny!"  Oh, he's just so humble. :)

Day 201: It's Karm-plicated

Aha:
You know how every once and a while you have those trips to the bathroom where you think, I need to go to the bathroom.  I think I'll get up and mosey on over to relieve myself.?  However, as soon as you get headed to the bathroom you start to panic thinking, Oh my gosh!  I HAVE to go to the bathroom and I don't know if I'm going to make it!!  Well, I had one of those experiences today.  I realized I had to go and the moment I realized it--the urgency to go intensified to the point of HOPING I would make it to the bathroom!  I literally was walking down the hallway at working thinking, It's gonna happen.  I'm actually going to poo my pants at work!  How am I ever going to show my face here again?  I'm going to lose my job, we won't have any money and I'm going to be known as "The Girl Who Pooped Her Pants"!
Well, fortunately, there is a God and I prayed like I never prayed before and I made it to the bathroom!  I even had time to wipe down the seat before sitting!  A true, modern-day miracle!

Ha ha:
Clinton bought me some enormous apples (no, that is not an innuendo for "boob job").  They are delicious (Golden Delicious...apples, that is).  Anyway, right after I had taken two bites Peter started crying for me to feed him.  I took myself and my giant apple over to the bin where we keep his food.  I must have done something very bad today because karma crept in and my apple fell out of my hands and into the dog food.  I turned around to see Clinton smiling and shaking his head side to side.  I reached into the bag, took the kibble that was stuck to it and tossed it to Peter as I assessed my barely chewed apple.
I could just rinse it off.  Although, I should probably get a new one.  I mean, what would people think of me if they knew I'd eaten an apple that fell into dog food? 
I walked over to the sink, turned on the faucet and rinsed my apple.  After another moment of inspection I took a bite.  And then another and another until all that was left of that giant dog-food-fallen apple was the core...Don't judge me.
***
Just after finishing the above, Clinton took his pen and wrote on my forearm.  "Hey!", I said, "What was that for?"  He laughed, and then I laughed because karma snuck in on him too.  As he was laughing he went to triumphantly click the cap on his highlighter, only it wasn't there and ended up drawing on himself instead!  Ha ha!  Serves him right, the turkey!

Day 200: All Done and Unintended Pun

Aha:
I have been diligently working my butt off to finish up a bunch of stuff on my desk I've been too busy to finish.  Well, today a little miracle occurred and I was able to not only start on my stack, but I was able to FINISH it too!!!  Don't get me wrong, I still have plenty to do at work, but now I won't have that physical reminder of how far behind I was!  "Today [I] celebrate, but tomorrow [I] go back to work!"

Ha ha:
There I was sitting at my computer innocently going about my work, which happened to be verifying references, when all of a sudden I came across this one.

I read it aloud to my coworkers and we all promptly started laughing. One asked, "Where are you finding these?" Another said, "That's really funny."  Patient OUTCOMES??  Really?  Not sure if the authors that that through?  Or they did but had diarrhea on the brain and just chose the title as "urgently" as the could. 
One coworker wondered why any author would choose that title and I said, "Most would not find this so funny.  The article is intended for mature readers.  I'm just not one."

Day 199: Skids and Snuggles

Aha:
It's the small and simple things, right?  Well, today I had the special pleasure of being able to come home with no responsibilities and was thus able to lay on the couch and read a book!  What's even better than that?--a nap on the couch whilst snuggling with my pup.  This evening was amazing!

Ha ha:
I was sitting at my desk and could hear that my coworker was talking on the phone a few feet away from me.  When she finished her call she turned to us and announced, "Well, it's official:  I have skids in my undies." Baffled at her blunt declaration, I said, "What?  You have skids in your undies??"  "No!", she said, "I've scared off my neighbors.  They're selling their house."
BIG difference!

Day 198: The Ins and "Outs" of Life

Aha:
To the friends who have checked on me, sent me words of hope and encouragement, given me hugs and kept me in their prayers--this one's for you.  You each brightened my day and I hope to be able to return the favor soon.

Thank you and love you all!  P.S.  I'm doing much better! :)

Ha ha:
I bought Clinton "Fart in a Can" for his stocking on Christmas.  He loves to play with it, especially while I exercise.  Here's a little clip I "squeaked" in for your viewing pleasure.  I'm sure it will really "blow" your mind.  No, no, it's going to be a real "gas"!  No "pressure" to watch it and I won't be offended if you decide to "pass", but I'm sure you'll be "relieved" if you "do".

Day 197: Leakage

Aha:
I am so thankful for good, understanding friends.  I had a bit of a rough day today and ended up crying with a couple of those good friends at church.  I also received a rather encouraging text from a friend last night.  I'm so thankful for people who are patient with me and are willing to "mourn with me when I mourn" and "comfort me when I stand in need of comfort".  Thank you.

Ha ha:
As I said above, today was not the best day for laughing, but I'll be darned if I don't find something from today that I can laugh about.  Turns out, on my way home from church while I was still crying, I needed a tissue, or a napkin or anything.  I searched desperately and would have just used my dress if it hadn't belonged to my great grandma.  I opened the little box between the two front seats and spotted (no pun intended) one of my "female emergency" supplies.  I quickly tore open the wrapper, pulled on the string, discarded the applicator and dabbed my eyes.  I tell you, those things really are absorbent!

Day 196: Sweepin' the Clouds Away

Aha:
I had a realization the other day while I was washing the dishes.  I don't know why it came to me then, especially since I don't really mind washing dishes, but I just got to thinking that there is no point in really getting upset over much in life.  I only have the one.  Do I want to spend it complaining when something doesn't go my way?  Do I want to spend it getting mad when someone says something dumb or doesn't do what they said they would?  Do I want to spend my life in a bad mood?  No!
I'm not sure how I'm going to stay consistent in this, because after all, I am human--an emotional human--but I feel like I was given a special moment of insight.  I feel like I've been given a second chance to make some changes and improvements in my life and the way that I think.  What am I going to make of my life?  I want it to be a happy one!  So, I've decided to let some things go and let other things go when they come.  Life is too short to be annoyed with it.  The people in my life are too special to take for granted.  My desire to be happy is more important than "being right".
I don't know, I know I'll still struggle and get upset, but I really hope that those times just become fewer and farther between.  If I can have some successes in that, then I'll feel like I am doing better.  This mindset over the last couple days has helped me out of a couple pickles already and THAT makes me happy!

Ha ha:
I decided to use some hair color I had laying around to tint my eyebrows; the color was "Light Golden Blonde" but looked dark brown when wet.  Anyway, I put it on and straightened up my living room while it processed and Clinton studied on the couch.  He happened to glance up at me at one point and with a questioning look asked, "Uh, what's going on with your eyebrows?"  Thinking of the time that my Alzheimered grandpa surprised us all with a good (but unintended) laugh by using black shoe polish on his very white eyebrows (looked very much like Bert from Sesame Street, but much bushier)--I told him I was trying the same thing.  After taking another, longer look he hesitantly declared, "I don't know that that's a good idea.  That can't turn out well."  I started laughing and told him I was joking--he sighed a big sigh of relief.
Really?  How could he possibly have thought I was serious??  What kind of girl does he take me for?  I may be quirky, but it'll take another 50 years and a diagnosis of dementia before I think that lathering shoe polish on my brows enhances my appearance!