Day 95: Happy Women's Day

Aha:
Mother's Day. Two words, when put together, that typically make me cringe.
However, today I have found myself smiling thinking of all the children I've had the chance to mother: my nieces and nephews, my friends' kids, some of the young women I taught, and the random kids I've sat with at church when their mom's just looked desperate for help.
Sometimes I think this holiday should just be called "Women's Day". It would make it a lot easier to enjoy for those like me who have yet to be, but desperately want to be, mothers. But being a woman--I've got that covered! It is part of my nature to nurture and love; to teach and to play; to comfort and to soothe. I'm inherently a mom.
I wanted to give a shout-out to my mom for raising me to be who I am. I know you don't feel like you "measure up" but you do. You are the perfect mom for me!
I also want to thank my sisters (SIL's included) for letting me help "raise" your kids. You have no idea how special your kids are to me and how much being their aunt has blessed my life.
To my friends, thanks for calling me the "Baby Whisperer". I love snuggling your little ones and lulling them to sleep. Doing this makes me feel special and needed.
To the women who have handed me their kids without saying a word, thank you letting me help.
For those with kids I know this day can be hard as well and I hope you can find joy in it. We have a sacred work to do and we cannot do it alone. Thankfully we are surrounded by other women (moms, sisters, friends, aunts, and even the occasional stranger) who can lend us help when we need it.
May we all find a reason to celebrate who we are, cause being a woman is pretty amazing.
To all women I wish you a Happy Women's/Mother's Day.

Haha:
If you'll excuse the swear word in the title, here are two videos that make me laugh cause they're totally true! To all women, enjoy "'Crap' Girls Say: Episodes 1 and 2".

Day 74: Easter, Teased Her

Aha:

Well, I wanted to just take a brief second and publicly thank my saviour, Jesus Christ, for his willingness to die for me so that I can repent and one day return to live with God. 

I have felt the power of His atonement in my life and the peace and comfort it brings. I have been enveloped in His arms during hard times and felt His love when I needed it most. I am thankful that He knows me and cares about me, even the little things are important to Him.

I love Him.

Haha:

My FIL spent about an hour and a half raking all of the garbage and dog crap left in the backyard from the previous renters. When he came back in he said, "Well that was a crappy job."

Clinton and I laughed at the pun; my MIL said, "Why? Is your back ok?"

Clinton: No, it's a joke.

She: Oh.

Then we all laughed...at her. ;)

Day 59: I Walked Today Where Jesus Walked...and Peter Pooped

Aha:

You probably didn't know this but we live in the same neighbourhood as the stake centre; it's literally one street away from us. Well, I decided to take Peter for a walk before the second session of General Conference began and as I was on our way home I passed by the church. On the sidewalk across the street I saw two missionaries talking to a couple. I couldn't hear everything but as I was passing one of the elders just started bearing his testimony about how living the gospel has blessed his life.

I didn't stick around to listen but it put a smile on my face and a warm feeling in my heart. I love to hear people talk about Jesus; especially in such "out of place" places. In fact, some of my most spiritual discussions have happened in commonplace locations.

A blog isn't necessarily "out of place", but I too love Jesus and am thankful for His gospel in my life. His message is good news! It is one of selflessness and charity and I am thankful for the example He gave me to follow. I love that so many people in the world want to be like Him, regardless of religious affiliation. He is The Good Shepherd and I am so happy to be one of His many sheep trying their best to get back to Him.

Haha:

Now that the weather is improving and much of the snow has melted, I took advantage of the first opportunity I've had to pick up all of the crap Peter has relieved himself of over the winter.

There was only the thin layer of a plastic produce bag between me and the grocery bagful I gathered of cold dog poo. 

It was an interesting bonding moment between mother and pup. Each handful of crap inspiring memories of what he must have eaten that particular day. Every mound reminding me of the special responsibility I have in taking care of my little boy. All of it, a token of love. 

Or at least that's how I tried to see it instead of as the gross job it really was.

When I came back inside and told Clinton how much I had to pick up he said, "Yah, Peter really puts out a lot of poop."

Thanks. I know.

Day 21: Jack and Jill Went Up the Hill to Fetch a Pail...of Honesty

Aha:

I had one of those sad parenting moments today that really make your heart sad and glad at the same time.
Long story short, I caught one of the kids lying to me over something not so minor.
I knew they were lying and it was breaking my heart that they didn't feel like they could tell me the truth.
Finally, after about an hour and a half, the truth finally came out.
I took them aside and told them that of all things, being lied to was my least favorite. That lying makes me sad because it seems I can't be trusted by them.
I gave them a big hug (in which they lingered), thanked them for admitting the truth, and told them that I wanted them to be good and make good choices. I wanted them to know they can talk to me about anything and that above all, I loved them.
Consequences were divvied out and I turned to leave. The moment I did I totally got choked up.
These kids aren't even mine but this little situation really made me think a lot about what things must be like for those who do have kids, and what it'll be like when I have my own. This poor kid went to great lengths to avoid telling the truth and when it finally came out I didn't get mad, I really truly just wanted them to succeed in being honest. I felt so much love for them it hurt! And that lingering hug was the best kind of heart-warmer ever!
Is this what it's always like? Is this what it's like for God and His children here on Earth? How much forgiveness and love He must have for you and me!! He will patiently wait for us to admit our error and when we do He will be there to love us even more, not less.

Haha:

Before bed the kids and I were sitting in the living room reading nursery rhymes and after each one Eden would promptly reply with his own funny version of that rhyme.

We were having a great time!

One of the rhymes spoke of two little children who had some sort of cafuffle and ended up getting hurt or something. Eden's rendition included something about the kids suing each other and how someone came out loaded from their lawsuit.

We all laughed and then Sam said, "Eden, these kids are like three years old. If they're suing this young they must be from the states! They're pretty fast to sue over really dumb things in America."

Oh, how I laughed at that cause it's so true! 

Day 34: God Bless Me

Aha:
Question 6:  What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
I think that without question, the hardest thing I've ever experienced/am experiencing is infertility.  There's something to be said of watching everyone around you so easily achieve what you've worked, cried and prayed for for so many years.  I ruined at least one really wonderful friendship and experienced strain in my marriage and family because of impatience, envy and jealousy.  One year in particular I lost count at 32 baby shower invites in a period of about 9 months.  Putting a smile on my face with every announcement or pregnancy story was literally more than I could bare.  I was bitter, I was angry, I was hurt and I was devastated.
One afternoon, I received a phone call from one of my family members.  She was hesitant and carefully told me that she was expecting another baby.  Of course, I knew it before then.  That's one thing I've noticed--a sort of sixth sense--I can often tell someone's pregnant before they know or decide to start telling others, it's what I would call a tender mercy.  Anyway, she apologized and started to cry.  I told her, "I have to go now." and then I hung up the phone and cried like I'd never cried before.
Had I really sunk so low that people felt they needed to apologize to me for being pregnant?  What had I let happen to so many people I cared about that they felt they needed to skirt around their happy news for my sake?  Why did this have to be so painful?  I couldn't take it anymore.  My heart was so broken.
I told the Lord I couldn't do this any longer; the hurt was unbearable.  I was so unhappy and so tired of feeling dark and bitter.  I needed to let all of this go but couldn't begin to know how.  I prayed that my heart could be softened, that the pain would go away and that I could be healed.
Now, I've heard people bare testimony of the power of the atonement and always wondered how they could possibly know.  Sure, Jesus died for us and all so that we could be forgiven and he'd know how to help us, but how could anyone really know or feel anything more than that?  I will tell you, that I know the atonement of Jesus Christ is real and it truly can heal our hearts and save our souls.  The moment I finally let go of all of the hate and bitterness I'd been clinging to and finally opened my arms to the love and healing power of Jesus' atonement--I was finally set free.  I'm not going to lie and say that I never feel pain over infertility because I totally do, and I still cry about it at times, but I'm not bitter anymore.  I can actually be happy for my friends and family (after a quick cry) and I am filled with hope that God has a plan for Clinton and me--and that it's better than anything else I would have or could have ever planned for us.

Ha ha:
The other day I was talking to a coworker and had to sneeze.  As she continued to talk I turned my head to the side and sneezed into my shoulder.
Ooo, that felt a little wet.  Best to take a peek.
So I looked on my right shoulder and noticed a giant booger clinging for life on my wool sweater.
Meanwhile, my coworker keeps talking and I sorta duck down, hoping she doesn't see it over our little wall between our desks.
I grab a tissue and wipe my nose and then "casually" wipe off my shoulder, hoping any residual sheen is absorbed by the barely-soft tissues they provide for us at work.
Talk about embarrassing!

Day 32: Life Lessons

Aha:
Question 4: List 10 things you would tell your 16-year-old self, if you could.
1. Finish college! There will be complications to finishing, but stick with cosmetology at Mt. Hood despite the fact that the teachers there stink--you'll be trained wherever you end up working.  You won't have another opportunity for quite a while.
2. You won't be able to have children when you want to.  You'll go through lots of painful moments.  Don't let other people's fertility hurt you, be happy for them and know that there will be lots of growth and happiness in your life as well.  Don't lose your faith over this.  Enjoy the childless time you and Clinton will have together.  Use the atonement early on and the whole experience will be much easier to bear.  You'll get through it and you'll be stronger for it.
3. Stop eating so much junk food.  Calories in, calories out.  Work now to become healthy and fit so you can enjoy the benefits of feeling good about your body when you're young.
4. Never stop being who you are and doing what makes you happy.  Laugh loud all the time and don't worry about what others think about it.  Hey, you're being happy, if they don't like it, they can shove it!
5. Date lots and have fun learning what you want in your future husband.  None of those boys will probably meet your expectations, but the experience will teach you that life is unpredictable.  Be bold and be sure to tell those around you how you feel.  Don't hold back.
6. You are a perfectionist but need to accept that you can't control everything.  A crooked picture doesn't have to be straightened, your body does not have to be freakishly tiny to be attractive, your eyes don't have to match to make you beautiful.  Accept that perfection is a mindset, and an unhealthy one at that.  Do your best and know that that is good enough.
7. Floss your teeth more regularly.  Cavities can form in between your teeth if you don't floss often enough.  You know how much you hate going to the dentist, so avoid this and floss regularly.
8. Be patient.  Be patient with your parents, your friends, other drivers, long lines, trials in life, and most importantly--yourself.  Life is not a race.  Enjoy the journey even when it's hard.
9. Moisturize your face every single day or you'll get wrinkles by the age of 18.  They won't go away once they're there.
10. You will marry someone who will love you even when you're moody (which will be often).  He will never give up on you and will often remind you how much your relationship means to him.  He will be the happiest and funniest person you know.  There will be times when life is hard and you'll be frustrated, learn to not sweat the small stuff and laugh together often.  Your marriage will be a partnership that will carry you through everything.  Marriage takes a lot of patience and hard work, but it will be those hard times that bring you closer than you ever thought possible.

Ha ha:
I bought a shirt for $1.97 at Old Navy the other day.  It's a cute white t-shirt with some little flower cut outs across the center of the chest.  As I was getting ready for bed, I took off my pants and was about to take off my shirt but realized I wanted to show my awesome deal to Clinton first.  I walked into the room and said "Hey, do you like my new shirt?  Isn't it cute?"
He: Yah, it goes really great with your underwear.
Oh, I laughed about that for a while.

Day 372: That Sounds Fair

Aha:
During a sister's talk in Sacrament meeting last week (based off of Jeffrey R. Holland's talk, "Laborers in the Vineyard"), she said that many of us, at times, may say, "life's not fair".  We all have trials, but if we trust that the Lord is mindful of us and that he sends trials our way to make us better, then shouldn't we really be saying, "life is fair"?  He knows what we need to go through to become the people we need to be.  Our trials make us who we are and if certain trials are what it takes for us to learn and grow, then doesn't it make God completely fair?  He is doing all that he can to help us return to him.  Though it at times seems that life can be unfair, we must remember who sets the terms and trust that he knows best and will reward us accordingly.

Ha ha:
Clinton and I were so beat from playing at the water park on Saturday that we totally slept in till 10 am on Sunday!  We really must've played our little bodies into total exhaustion...and I'd totally do it all over again!

Day 340: Oh, the Pylons of Life

Aha:
I had a lot swimming around in my noggin today and really wanted to just clear it out so I put Peter in his little harness and set out for a walk.  About halfway through I turned on the Mormon Channel and listened to a talk by Jeffrey R. Holland, titled "The Laborers in the Vineyard".
I don't know why this happens, because it happens almost every time I need it, but this talk was exactly what I needed to hear.  Here are a few of my favorite excerpts...

Brothers and sisters, there are going to be times in our lives when someone else gets an unexpected blessing or receives some special recognition. May I plead with us not to be hurt—and certainly not to feel envious—when good fortune comes to another person? We are not diminished when someone else is added upon. We are not in a race against each other to see who is the wealthiest or the most talented or the most beautiful or even the most blessed. The race we are really in is the race against sin, and surely envy is one of the most universal of those.

Furthermore, envy is a mistake that just keeps on giving. Obviously we suffer a little when some misfortune befalls us, but envy requires us to suffer all good fortune that befalls everyone we know!...

The formula of faith is to hold on, work on, see it through, and let the distress of earlier hours—real or imagined—fall away in the abundance of the final reward. Don’t dwell on old issues or grievances—not toward yourself nor your neighbor nor even, I might add, toward this true and living Church. The majesty of your life, of your neighbor’s life, and of the gospel of Jesus Christ will be made manifest at the last day, even if such majesty is not always recognized by everyone in the early going. So don’t hyperventilate about something that happened at 9:00 in the morning when the grace of God is trying to reward you at 6:00 in the evening—whatever your labor arrangements have been through the day....

So if you have made covenants, keep them. If you haven’t made them, make them. If you have made them and broken them, repent and repair them. It is never too late so long as the Master of the vineyard says there is time.


Ha ha:
Here's a conversation Clinton and I just had...
He:  This morning I went to pull out of the driveway and there were pile-ons all over the place.  They were taking up the whole road.
Me:  Pile-on?  What's a pile-on?
He:  You know, those orange conical things they put around construction sites.
Me:  You mean, cones?
He:  Yah, they're called pile-ons.  Look it up P-Y-L-O-N-S.  It's a real word.
Turns out the word does exist, but who they heck calls them pylons?  Isn't 'cone' much easier?  Ha ha!

Day 307: Whistling and Being In Tune

Aha:
For about the last hour of work yesterday, my coworker and I got to talking about overcoming trials.  We both addressed some of the trials we've faced and how having such wonderful spouses, family and friends can make those experiences so much easier to bear.  We talked about how we know that the Lord knows best for us and if we can just trust in His plan, we will be the better for it.
It was wonderful!  It is so refreshing to have such wonderfully peaceful feelings at work and I'm grateful to have shared them with my coworker today!
When I came home from work I had a client scheduled for a cut/highlights.  Her appointment was two hours, and I would venture to guess that a good hour of that was spent talking about God.  She and I aren't members of the same church either, but it doesn't take two people having a common church to have a common faith or belief.  Our conversation touched on knowing their is a god, the Atonement and the peace and healing it brings to our lives, faith in our trials, and trusting His plan for us.  We both feel/felt that we have grown in knowledge and faith because of our trials.  We both expressed our love for God and encouraged each other to endure.
It was wonderful!  Two uplifting spiritual-conversations in the space of a few hours!  What a lucky and blessed girl I am!

Ha ha:
The hospital I work for has very unique hold-music.  It never changes, there's never a pause to thank you for holding, or to say that some will be with you shortly; it just keeps playing over and over.  Anyway, I had just been on hold for about 15 minutes when I realized I needed to be somewhere.  I hung up the phone, walked over to the hospital, took the steps down to the first floor and reentered the main building.  The hold-music was continuing in my head that whole trip and as I rounded the corner in the main building I saw a group of four providers in deep conversation.  Unbeknownst to me, I started whistling the hold music really loudly.  Every single one of them turned to look at me, as if I was trying to get their attention.  I stopped.  Like a deer in the headlights.  I looked at each of them and said a quick, "Wup!  Sorry."
As soon as my back was turned from them, I broke into a huge grin and laughed to myself.  I had to have totally just looked like a crazy person to them!  Ha ha ha!

Day 303: A Tough Nut to Crack

Aha:
A friend of mine gave a talk in Sacrament Meeting that totally had my complete and total attention.  I sat there and listened, feeling like everything she said was said directly for my benefit.  I was so touched and uplifted by her talk that I asked for a copy.  Her talk "Enduring Through Your Trials and Tribulations" is based on the talk given by Ronald A. Rasband, "Special Lessons" from April's General Conference.  I will share a portion of it with you today.
"I was getting ready to go to the grocery store one day while Scott stayed home and studied. I got my keys and my coat and walked out to my car alone. I walked right up to the passenger door let myself in and shut the door behind me and just sat there. I am not sure what I was waiting for, but then realized that I would not be going anywhere quickly with no one driving. I got out of the passenger seat and headed towards the driver’s seat while laughing. When adversity comes and we are stuck in a fruitless cycle of self pity, dwelling on these questions which seem to have no satisfying answers, it is much like being stuck in a passenger seat and no one is in the driver’s seat and we aren’t going anywhere quickly. We need to change our position (back to the driver’s seat) if we ever hope to profit from adversity, and to do this we need the Lords help.

Elder Rasband says this in his talk, “At these moments we can turn to the great plan of happiness authored by our Heavenly Father. That plan, when presented in the pre-earth life, prompted us all to shout for joy. Put simply, this life is training for eternal exaltation, and that process means tests and trials. It has always been so, and no one is spared. Trusting in God’s will is central to our mortality. With faith in Him, we draw upon the power of Christ’s Atonement at those times when questions abound and answers are few.”

We must trust in the Lord and change our questions to: What am I to do? What am I supposed to learn from this experience, heartache, trial? What am I to change? Who can I help? How can I remember my blessings and be thankful for the things I have?....

I think that a lack of the correct perspective is often why it is so hard for us to change our questioning to a more productive type. If we could see the blessings and benefits which are ours by righteously passing through adversity then we would not view it as undesirable."

I love the reminders that I am in control of what I take from adversity.  It is so much easier (?) to give in to feeling sorry for yourself and wanting to blame others, but is that really easier in the end?  There is no satisfaction in dwelling on questions that don't yet have answers.  There are times when "just being patient" is what the Lord wants from us and there's nothing more we can do.  We need to put faith in the fact that He does know what is best and will provide a way for us to accomplish what He would have us do.  He knows what will bring us the ultimate progression, and most often that comes through trials.

Ha ha:
One of the docs I work for is named Sach (aka, Dr. Forgetful...no worries, Mom, it ain't no secret!).  While I was out grocery shopping this weekend, I came across the following...

and for obvious reasons, thought of him.  I bought a bag and gave them to him at work today.  While I was handing him the bag, one of our social workers walked in and asked what he got.  I said, "I bought him a bag of hot peanuts."
Sach replied, "Yeah, cause I'm hot."
She said, "Yeah, you're hot alright.  You're a real hot mess!"
My coworker and I totally starting busting up because, not only was this totally surprising to hear, but it is so true!  Sach took his nuts and walked out sulking....I swear, this innuendo was NOT intended, but I know some people are thinking it, so I might as well come out and clarify as much before I start getting a bunch of unruly comments on here!...you know who you are!

Day 301: Chocolate-Covered Challenges

Aha:
Though my visit was not exactly "successful" (I had to run into the bathroom once to dry my eyes a bit) I made an appearance at my friend's baby shower yesterday.  Baby showers and I don't get along very well and it's rare that I go to one, but I really wanted to show my friend how much I love and am happy for her.  We hugged several times and she thanked me for coming.  I only stayed for about five minutes, but I made it in the door!
I am so thankful for good friends who love me, are patient with me and care about me no matter what!  Thank you so much girls!  I'm also thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who helped me accomplish something I didn't think I could do.

Ha ha:
Let's just say that after my "traumatic" morning, I felt I deserved a special treat.  Clinton and I went out to get doughnuts (chocolate-glazed) and ice cream (chocolate-dipped...you sensing a pattern here?).  I ate all of my ice cream, all of my doughnut and half of Clinton's.  I felt much better. :)

Day 288: Ye Shall Obtain

Aha:
The closing hymn in Sacrament Meeting was, "I Believe in Christ".  My first thought was, Ugh, this is such a long song, but I soon found myself engrossed in the words and was moved to tears by the fourth verse.
I believe in Christ; he is my King!
With all my heart to him I'll sing;
I'll raise my voice in praise and joy,
In grand amens my tongue employ.
I believe in Christ; he is God's Son.
On earth to dwell his soul did come.
He healed the sick; the dead he raised.
Good works were his; his name be praised.


I believe in Christ; oh blessed name!
As Mary's Son he came to reign
'Mid mortal men, his earthly kin,
To save them from the woes of sin.
I believe in Christ, who marked the path,
Who did gain all his Father hath,
Who said to men: "Come, follow me,
That ye, my friends, with God may be."


I believe in Christ-- my Lord, my God!
My feet he plants on gospel sod.
I'll worship him with all my might;
He is the source of truth and light.
I believe in Christ; he ransoms me.
From Satan's grasp he sets me free,
And I shall live with joy and love
In his eternal courts above.

I believe in Christ; he stands supreme!
From him I'll gain my fondest dream;
And while I strive through grief and pain,
His voice is heard: "Ye shall obtain."
I believe in Christ; so come what may,
With him I'll stand in that great day
When on this earth he comes again
To rule among the sons of men.
(Text: Bruce R. McConkie, 1915-1985)

How grateful I am for the Savior and for all of the love and happiness He brings to my life.  It is because of Him that I am able to overcome my trials, or at least bear them until I can overcome them.  What a wonderful gift the Atonement is to me.  "I believe in Christ; so come what may."

Ha ha:

There is a little girl at church that loves me (I of course, love her too).  Lately, every time she sees me, she wishes me Happy Birthday.  Anyway, after Sacrament Meeting I walked up to speak with the bishop.  When I turned around her mom came up to me and said her daughter had something to ask me.  I turned to her and she asked, "Did you get those shoes for your birthday?"  (I was wearing my hot pink platform Jessica Simpson pumps.)  I laughed and told her I had.  Her mom went on to tell me what had transpired to bring up this conversation.
Apparently, when I walked up to lead the choir in their musical number, her daughter turned to her and said, "Mommy!  Look at her pink shoes!"  She asked her if she liked them and she emphatically said, "Yes!...Can I go touch them?"  She told her to wait till after Sacrament.
So, after Sacrament when I walked past them to speak with the bishop, unbeknownst to me, my friend's daughter was crouched down on the ground poking and stroking the back of my shoes, during my entire conversation!  Ha ha!

Day 260: Giving Our All

Aha:
One of the sisters in our ward gave a talk on the Atonement and something she said really stuck out to me.  She said, "What is it that God needs from all of us?--Just that, all of us."
We can give our all and he will make up for the rest.

Ha ha:
We recently had our dishwasher fixed and have used it twice.  Each time it's been used Peter stops what he's doing, his ears start twitching, he stares in the direction of the kitchen (from the living room) and barks softly or cries.  We reassure him that it's all OK but he can't relax.  Poor thing!